Stories & Memories of Rabbi Chaim Meir Lieberman

By: Mordechai Friedman December 14

My letter to Chaim Meyer

On Motzei Shabbos after I was informed of Chaim Meyer’s passing, my whole world was turned upside down. I could not sleep, and I walked from room to room, crying and sobbing. As the sun was rising, I needed to tell Chaim Meyer how I felt but he was not there. I decided to write to him. Somehow, tears can be expressed not only crying- but (as I have discovered) also by pouring out my heart. My intention was not to share this letter, but yesterday my friend Abba Deitsch ( who accompanied me to the Beis Hachaim) said to me that I should share this letter here with you all..... And he was right. Chaim Meyer was not just my friend- he was also your friend

Chaim Meyer I need so badly to talk to you….. you always told me that I have to always be strong, and to “ keep my shirt on”..... it’s not that easy I used to tell you that you are my best friend in the whole world, and you laughed at me and said that you don’t have any friends. Even though I knew you were teasing me, I still took you seriously and I told you that even if you don’t think I am your friend, you will always be my friend. You told me that friends end up kicking one another in the tuchus... and you are waiting to find out when I will give you my kick. You laughed and always joked, and always enjoyed watching me argue that from me, it would never happen. And you see- I proved you wrong.... but it’s not finished, because I still have my whole life in front of me to honor you. I am so grateful to you for so many things…. I really don’t know where to begin. For starters- you allowed very few people to get close to you…. and you let me in. I will always cherish our friendship. I will always value that you opened your heart to me, and let me get to know you. Only now I am beginning to understand the love that two close friends have for one another…. it’s another kind of love, a love between two brothers…like the love that David Ha melech and Jonathan shared for one another… are David Ha melech. I guess that is why I am crying so much. It’s a very deep pain that wrenches from my heart all the way to my soul…. For over 30 years You protected me and stood beside me many times throughout the various challenges that I faced in my life…. when most people would turn away from me, you stood by me, protected me and my children, and encouraged me. We even joked about it over the last 18 months…. I would tell you how much I have learned from you and I would share with you the good things that were happening in my life …. and tell you that you can finally be proud of me …. that finally you had a successful student… and your answer was- “we’ll see…..” I read once that It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them"........... Chaim Meyer, I will never forget you…. you taught me so much about life… and about myself, just by being yourself- just by allowing me to be with you feeding off your words and actions. Whenever we would hear of someone that was niftar, you would tell me that is the will of Hashem, and that we have to accept what Hashem deals us. When Rashi passed on, even then while you were suffering inside, you still said that was the will of Hashem, but that was a test that Hashem put on you that wasn’t fair. But you still loved Hashem and you continued to be Yirei Shamayim Chaim Meyer, even now I am trying to listen to you…. and trying to live by your example… On Wednesday night I went to the Ohel… and while I was reading the ManeLoshen, I suddenly stopped reading and cried out softly- “Hashem please let Chaim Meyer come home…. It’s too soon, he still has so much more to do ….” I davened so hard, but as you would tell me sometimes- “Mordechai- Hashem has his plans… and we’re all part of that plan. Chaim Meyer, I am not as strong as you. I am trying very hard to deal with you leaving me, in the ways that you have taught me, but I am in so much pain and it’s so hard for me to accept that I won’t be able to come into your study, sit across from you and shmooze and talk….How we would laugh together when I would come into your study and ask if I can have Yechidus and you would tell me to sit down .... when I am in Shul, how will I be able to sit without seeing you sitting next to me? I am really struggling….. I know that you will always be with me, in my heart, in my thoughts and you will continue to guide me and teach me. When the Rebbe passed away, We were consoled by the words - “ A shepherd never leaves his flock…” I finally accept that I am a Hassid, not a very good one, but nevertheless- a Hassid. I know that you will always be here with me and you will never leave me, I am just going to have to try much harder. Your friend Mordechai

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